Protected: Birth story (proceed at your own risk)

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J/k

Dear Spanky Lulu,

Don’t move.  Stay right where you are.

Thanks!

The butt-up thing wasn’t really generating the kind of movement the midwife was expecting and in fact, Spanky had stopped moving around with the same frequency as she had been.  So we went back and forth about this for most of the week and Audra decided it would be best for us to just have an ultrasound to see what was going on.  And to see if there was some reason why the baby wouldn’t turn.  I wasn’t thrilled about this for a few reasons — I have absolutely no interest in hearing the size/weight of the baby at this point.  And the ultrasound would definitely confirm that.  I was also worried that having an ultrasound this late would generate a whole mess of information better left unknown for the next month.  Not to mention the fact that we decided on a home birth to avoid unnecessary medical intervention and it was possible that the findings of the ultrasound would necessitate a hospital birth.

So we went anyway and the doctor immediately confirmed that the baby’s head is down.  And what we were feeling and seeing as distinct, round lumps at the top my stomach were, in fact, hips and knees.  Spanky is on her side along my right side, with her spine facing outwards.  Then her hips stick out right at the top of my stomach, under my ribs.

I will say, however, that ultrasounds this late are not cute.  In fact, the baby looks like a freakish cross between an alien and a deep-sea creature.  Appearances aside, everything is fine.  Measurements check out and the heart, brain, stomach, etc…are all doing what they are supposed to.  And most importantly, Spanky is right where she is supposed to be.  We managed to escape without learning the size of the baby and we also didn’t confirm the gender.  So after a long week, we’re all glad that everything is fine and we really hope that the next 4 weeks will be uneventful.

Spanky is too big for a proper in-utero photo shoot.  But I leave you with this.  Yeah, that’s her eye.   Not cute at all.

And finally, Audra said I don’t have to lay with my butt up anymore.  Thank god.

Dear Spanky Lulu,

Please move.  Soon.  Thanks.

So for two weeks now, Spanky Lulu has continued to be in a transverse position.  Rather than being in the desired head down position or even a breech position, she has decided to make things difficult by laying straight across my stomach.  We met with the midwife today and she confirmed that there hasn’t been any movement.  From a comfort standpoint, this sucks.  Everything, including sleeping, sitting and walking, is more uncomfortable.  From a delivery standpoint, it’s bad news.  But we’re still at least 4-5 weeks away from stressing about that.

In the meantime, however, I have a whole list of things that I should be doing to try to get the baby to move.  Mainly this involves putting the power of gravity to our advantage.  So I walk up a lot of stairs, use the stairmaster at the gym, sit on the big exercise ball instead of a chair, etc…

And now, please add laying with my head and chest on the ground, with my butt sticking up in the air, FOR 45 MINUTES EVERY DAY, to the list of strange things I will be doing to get Spanky to resume her rightful place with her head in my pelvis.  When that gets old, I read online that we could also speak firmly, commanding Spanky to move, shine a light in the direction we want her to move, or put ice on my stomach, in hopes that she will swim away from the cold.  Crazytown.

When the do-it-yourself remedies wear out, the acupuncturist has all sorts of things to try and there is also this chiropractic technique that can be used to turn babies around.  So there are options.

But in the meantime, if you need me, I am laying on the living room floor with my butt up.

Happy New Year!

So it’s officially 2009, thereby making Spanky Lulu’s arrival a mere 6 weeks away.  While the panic hasn’t set in, yet, we are definitely starting to feel the time crunch.

On the pregnancy front, things are moving along nicely.  My mom went with us this week to meet the midwife so they could meet once before they both showed up for the birth.  My mom was reassured that while water birth babies do appear to be slightly blue, they pink up and warm up rather quickly once removed from the water.  After watching a few home births in the Businees of Being Born, she was concerned that the water birth babies all looked cold and wrinkly.  She and Jason both got to hear the heartbeat and Spanky put on quite a show by getting herself all flipped around into some weird positions.  After a lot of poking and prodding, it was determined that she is somewhere between a breech and a sideways position.  This is both uncomfortable and unfortunate.  She has plenty of time to resume her previously occupied feet-up position before we need to be concerned, but space is at a premium in there and these huge movements are wreaking havoc on my internal organs.  I hope she returns to normal soon.

Only one more week of the childbirth class.  I can’t wait.  The information is generally useful, but the people in the class are stressing me out.  They are super nervous and continue to ask paranoid questions about all sorts of things I would prefer not to think about.

We are definitely starting to amass some super cute baby stuff.  One of the more practical items, however, comes in the form of a craft project.  We have been doing all sorts of research into what kind of cloth diaper covers we wanted to use.  The diaper itself has been decided on, but something needs to go over that to prevent all manner of leaks.  There are a few polyester options, which I am not thrilled with, and then a bunch of more natural fiber choices.  So I gave my mom the mission of trying to come up with something that would work, be inexpensive, and not be an all consuming craft project.  So I introduce to you the first version of Spanky Lulu’s wool diaper soaker.  It’s knitted with super soft wool and the legs should be wide enough to accommodate for the inevitability of her chubby thighs:

We fail

So it’s official.  We are the worst bloggers and we don’t even have a baby to blame for it.  Instead, we can all say that we survived a pretty rough semester and now that it’s over, we promise to be much, much better about keeping you all updated.

Since we last wrote, lots of exciting things have happened!

Jason finished his Master’s program at Emerson!  Yay!  We will call him Master Jason.

We continue to attend our childbirth class, which is kind of rough going.  The best part of the recent class was when we were doing some bizarre hip undulation, labor movement exercise type-thing and the guy next to us farted.  Unfortunately, Jason didn’t hear it, but I did.  And being a beacon of maturity, I could no longer control myself.  I was grateful that we weren’t the farters, only because the guy’s wife looked mortified.  But I really just couldn’t stop laughing, which may be just as embarrassing as the original offense.  I never really learned the hip movements that are supposed to ease labor pains.  I hope Jason was paying better attention.

We had a visit with the midwife, wherein we continue to be progressing along normally.  I have started having Braxton-Hicks contractions, which are a totally strange sensation.  My whole stomach gets super hard and then it is numb and tingly.  I had no idea what they were until it happened while I was getting poked in the stomach by the midwife…and she was like, oh, how long has that been going on…  But it definitely signals the beginning of the end of all of this.  Thank god.

I am not going to post the BabyCenter size updates anymore — I just don’t think they are particularly accurate and I don’t want to think too much about Spanky Lulu’s size over the next seven weeks.  Yes, she continues to grow.  And yes, the bigger she grows, the more difficult she will be to remove.  Let’s leave it at that.

Winter has come to Boston with a vengeance.  We had two big snowstorms in 2 days.  Since this is my favorite weather, I am loving it!  Anything to not have heat and humidity!  I supervised the massive shoveling efforts at our house and even managed to do a few scoops myself.  Nothing crazy.  But just enough to feel like it was really a snowstorm!

We aren’t really taking any time off around the holidays because we are trying to save our vacation days for when Spanks arrives.  So we are doing a super scaled-down version of the holidays this year, mainly because of the lack of time off and trying not to go overboard, as frequently happens in the traditional 599 High Street style.  I have a suspicion that this will be our last low-key holiday season.  Ever.  I have promised Spanky Lulu that we will never, ever make her go to to the mall and sit on Santa or Hanukkah Harry’s lap.

Instead of celebrating, we are supposed to be using this time to get organized and ready for the baby.  So far, we have gotten the big stuff, thanks to the amazing generosity of our families.  So we have a crib, a car seat and some strollers.  But that’s it!  Spanky Lulu is not allowed to arrive any earlier than scheduled, because she will be naked and diaper-less.  Maybe next week, we should get on that!

In other news, I am addicted to acupuncture.  And I am in love with the acupuncturist.  She does amazing work.  She hasn’t removed all of the pain, but it is so much more manageable.  I may have mentioned my constipation issues to her and she was like, let’s work on that.  And now, sometimes, in the days immediately following a visit with her, it is not unusual for things to happen more than once a day.  I will spare you the details.  But it’s real good!

I think that’s it for now.  Happy Hanukkah everyone!  I leave you with this very snowy photo of Jason and I!

Snow day!

Baby got back

Baby got back is similar to Baby got Barack, but this one actually has to do with the baby’s ass.

I totally forgot to mention this last week, but at week 27, Spanky Lulu weighed 2 pounds and was about 14.5 inches long.  (I continue to assert that it’s a big lie and this child continues to exceed all fruit and vegetable calculations).  Apparently 2 pounds is the weight of a head of cauliflower.  Cauliflower smells real bad.  Let’s not talk about it anymore.

In our last visit with the midwife, we confirmed our suspicions about Spanky’s position.  We have known for weeks that Spanky likes to hang out on the right side.  And if you look at my stomach, one side totally sticks out more than the other.  If you look even closer, you can see this round lump protruding from the right side.  Jason and I made the untrained determination that Spanky Lulu was sticking her butt out and the lump we were seeing was actually the outline of her butt.  We asked Audra and sure enough, Spanky’s head is down where it’s supposed to be, her butt is sticking out of the side of my stomach and her legs are under my rib cage.  While she is in a good position for delivery, I am not sure that I can spend the next 3 months with her poking my bladder with her fist and kicking me in the ribs.  If I didn’t object so strongly to having pictures taken of my stomach, I would provide photographic evidence of this.  But you will just have to use your imagination.

Things are moving along smoothly.  The rash is under control.  I have a glucose screening this week and some bloodwork.  And we switch to 2 midwife visits per month.  I think that means the end is in sight.  I have been having a lot of hip and back pain, so I am off to the acupuncturist next week in hopes that she can make it all better.  I think that the issue has to do with our mattress.  But that’s a whole other post.  And for those of you keeping track, I bought a winter coat.

Apples

At 15 weeks, Spanky is the size of an apple, 4 inches long and weighing in at 2 1/2 ounces. According to these wacky BabyCenter people, if you were to shine a light at my stomach, Spanky would move away from the light. Please don’t shine a light at my stomach. That is weird.

We saw the midwife this week and got to hear the heartbeat again. This time, it sounded like horses. I hope we are not having a horse.

Pregnancy has been good for my mild hypochondria. Anything strange or out of the ordinary now has a very clear reason. Strange creepy rashes all over…must be pregnancy hormones. Can’t sleep…obviously pregnancy. I am not sure what I am going to do when I don’t have an excuse anymore. I will probably go back to fantasizing about dengue fever, monkey pox and blood clots.