Spanky’s New Digs

In honor of it being the New Year and making resolutions, we hereby resolve to start getting things ready for this baby to arrive.  So the first official act of preparation was to assemble Spanky’s bassinet/crib thing.  To get himself ready for the task at hand, Jason did some core strengthening exercises on his new Wii Fit.

I avoided the Wii Fit like the plague, only because it weighs you and analyzes your body mass index, etc..and I figured that wouldn’t be very good for my self-esteem at this stage of the game.

Anyway, once he was stretched and exercised, he started the assembly.

And the finished product:

Yes, it’s round.  Yes, you have to buy special sheets for it.  And yes, it looks remarkably like a cage.  But I am not sure that’s a bad thing.  Someday, this very bassinet will turn into a crib, a toddler bed, a big-girl bed and two chairs.  Spanky will have it for a nice, long time!  Big thanks to Robert and Jane for giving us this lovely piece of trendy, Norwegian baby furniture.  It’s pretty damn cool.  If you can remember back a few months ago, this was the same crib that we tried to buy on Amazon for a mere $65.

In other news, Spanky is still sideways.  This child has made it her mission to make her last six weeks of in-utero living as unpleasant as possible.  But I can’t be too upset, because I spent my afternoon indulging in a pre-natal massage.  Things could be much, much worse.

I Heart Massages

As I mentioned in my last post, I had signed Jason and I up for a couple’s prenatal massage workshop.  I had my doubts.  I figured it would be super fruity and we’d be in the back of the class giggling and getting in trouble.  BUT it ended up being amazing.  There were only two other couples and the instructor was fantastic.  Jason learned all sorts of massage techniques to use and we got to practice a lot.  We also learned a bunch of different things to do during labor and after.  I have never been shy about my love of the massage.  Not 15 minutes into the class, I was drooling all over myself and the instructor asked if I had fallen asleep.

One of the coolest things was the reflexology part.  Did you know that there is a specific massage pattern in a specific part of your foot that can stimulate digestion and elimination?  So we have gone about 7 months on this blog without really talking about poop.  That may be a record for me.  Anyway, if you apply pressure to this part of your foot, it can make you poop.  It works.  Not immediately.  But the next day.  Amazing. There is also a pressure point on your foot that will stimulate uterine contractions.  We will stay away from that one for awhile.

The other thing I noticed during this class is how whiney some of the partners were.  The whole point of the class was learning massage techniques to make the pregnant person more comfortable.    The two other guys complained so much.  One guy said that the massage was making his hands hurt.  And the other one didn’t want to sit on the floor.  Give me a break — massage makes your hands hurt — carrying around an alien-baby for 10 months hurts.  These guys were out of control.  Jason, however, was complimented on being a “natural.”  Yup.  I was very proud.  In a few months, Jason may wish that we never took this class.  But when he gets tired of the massaging, I will remind him how much cheaper it is for him to do it, rather than pay the fancy massage therapist.

Baby got Barack

We introduced Spanky Lulu to the democratic process this week. I was less than thrilled with the idiot people in front of us in line at the polling station who brought their dog into the school gym while they voted. The dog in the little booth caused me to have an sneezing fit in the middle of voting. Who brings their dog to vote? Why am I allergic to everything?

Thanks to the good people of the Commonwealth, Spanky Lulu won’t go to jail if caught with less than an ounce of pot. Hopefully, that won’t be an issue for a nice long time. But if we do end up raising a devil-child, it will be nice to know that we won’t have to bail her out of the pokey for that one.

While we have mixed feelings about the election outcomes (thumbs up for Obama, sadness for Prop 8 and the other ballot questions), I am feeling a lot better about bringing a child into the world. Spanky Lulu will arrive about a month after the inauguration and I think the timing is fortuitous. There is something to be said for starting out surrounded by a lot of hope and promise for better things ahead.

In other news, we are at 26 weeks. Spanky is the length of an English cucumber. And weighs almost 2 pounds. Apparently her hearing is continuing to develop and she can hear us. While I am sure we sound like we are talking from inside a swimming pool, I may need to stop cursing her existence every time I stand up and everything aches. We should also probably stop swearing. But I guess there is plenty of time for that.

On Saturday, we are going to a couple’s pre-natal massage workshop. I hope it’s not mad fruity.