J/k

Dear Spanky Lulu,

Don’t move.  Stay right where you are.

Thanks!

The butt-up thing wasn’t really generating the kind of movement the midwife was expecting and in fact, Spanky had stopped moving around with the same frequency as she had been.  So we went back and forth about this for most of the week and Audra decided it would be best for us to just have an ultrasound to see what was going on.  And to see if there was some reason why the baby wouldn’t turn.  I wasn’t thrilled about this for a few reasons — I have absolutely no interest in hearing the size/weight of the baby at this point.  And the ultrasound would definitely confirm that.  I was also worried that having an ultrasound this late would generate a whole mess of information better left unknown for the next month.  Not to mention the fact that we decided on a home birth to avoid unnecessary medical intervention and it was possible that the findings of the ultrasound would necessitate a hospital birth.

So we went anyway and the doctor immediately confirmed that the baby’s head is down.  And what we were feeling and seeing as distinct, round lumps at the top my stomach were, in fact, hips and knees.  Spanky is on her side along my right side, with her spine facing outwards.  Then her hips stick out right at the top of my stomach, under my ribs.

I will say, however, that ultrasounds this late are not cute.  In fact, the baby looks like a freakish cross between an alien and a deep-sea creature.  Appearances aside, everything is fine.  Measurements check out and the heart, brain, stomach, etc…are all doing what they are supposed to.  And most importantly, Spanky is right where she is supposed to be.  We managed to escape without learning the size of the baby and we also didn’t confirm the gender.  So after a long week, we’re all glad that everything is fine and we really hope that the next 4 weeks will be uneventful.

Spanky is too big for a proper in-utero photo shoot.  But I leave you with this.  Yeah, that’s her eye.   Not cute at all.

And finally, Audra said I don’t have to lay with my butt up anymore.  Thank god.

Spanky’s New Digs

In honor of it being the New Year and making resolutions, we hereby resolve to start getting things ready for this baby to arrive.  So the first official act of preparation was to assemble Spanky’s bassinet/crib thing.  To get himself ready for the task at hand, Jason did some core strengthening exercises on his new Wii Fit.

I avoided the Wii Fit like the plague, only because it weighs you and analyzes your body mass index, etc..and I figured that wouldn’t be very good for my self-esteem at this stage of the game.

Anyway, once he was stretched and exercised, he started the assembly.

And the finished product:

Yes, it’s round.  Yes, you have to buy special sheets for it.  And yes, it looks remarkably like a cage.  But I am not sure that’s a bad thing.  Someday, this very bassinet will turn into a crib, a toddler bed, a big-girl bed and two chairs.  Spanky will have it for a nice, long time!  Big thanks to Robert and Jane for giving us this lovely piece of trendy, Norwegian baby furniture.  It’s pretty damn cool.  If you can remember back a few months ago, this was the same crib that we tried to buy on Amazon for a mere $65.

In other news, Spanky is still sideways.  This child has made it her mission to make her last six weeks of in-utero living as unpleasant as possible.  But I can’t be too upset, because I spent my afternoon indulging in a pre-natal massage.  Things could be much, much worse.

Flesh-Eating Diseases

It’s true.  Spanky Lulu is eating my flesh.  Or something.  I have come down with this totally freakish skin condition.  It’s called PUPPP or something.  That’s an acronym for horribly itchy hive-like things that spread all across your stomach and legs.  It’s GROSS.  According to the doctor, there is no known cause.  It just happens in pregnant people fairly frequently.  But the itchiness wakes me up in the middle of the night and I can’t help but scratch it.  Which makes it spread.  I know, I know…I need to stop.  Jason keeps threatening to make me sleep with oven mitts on.

Anyway, the doctor gave me some medicine that shouldn’t cause Spanky Lulu to grow a third eye.  Hopefully that will help.  She also mentioned that this is normally a 3rd trimester problem.  But lucky for me, I got it early.  And will probably have it until the bitter end.  Bring it on.

My primary care doctor cracks me up.  She asked me if I was a “purist.”  Which I guess means following all of the rules of pregnancy — alcohol, cold cuts, sleeping on your back, soft unpasturized cheese, etc…I said not really.  And then she informed me that pregnant women can drink a lot more alcohol than they do.  So she said I should have a drink, since it will make me forget the itching.