Spanky’s New Digs

In honor of it being the New Year and making resolutions, we hereby resolve to start getting things ready for this baby to arrive.  So the first official act of preparation was to assemble Spanky’s bassinet/crib thing.  To get himself ready for the task at hand, Jason did some core strengthening exercises on his new Wii Fit.

I avoided the Wii Fit like the plague, only because it weighs you and analyzes your body mass index, etc..and I figured that wouldn’t be very good for my self-esteem at this stage of the game.

Anyway, once he was stretched and exercised, he started the assembly.

And the finished product:

Yes, it’s round.  Yes, you have to buy special sheets for it.  And yes, it looks remarkably like a cage.  But I am not sure that’s a bad thing.  Someday, this very bassinet will turn into a crib, a toddler bed, a big-girl bed and two chairs.  Spanky will have it for a nice, long time!  Big thanks to Robert and Jane for giving us this lovely piece of trendy, Norwegian baby furniture.  It’s pretty damn cool.  If you can remember back a few months ago, this was the same crib that we tried to buy on Amazon for a mere $65.

In other news, Spanky is still sideways.  This child has made it her mission to make her last six weeks of in-utero living as unpleasant as possible.  But I can’t be too upset, because I spent my afternoon indulging in a pre-natal massage.  Things could be much, much worse.

B-U-S-T-E-D

So the crib people noticed their big mistake and hijacked our package. The highly discounted crib left the warehouse and made it to Somerville and onto a UPS truck for delivery. Somerville is the NEXT town over from us! So we thought we were golden. And then I checked the tracking yesterday and this is what it said:

THE SHIPPER HAS REQUESTED A DELIVERY INTERCEPT FOR THIS PACKAGE / RETURN TO SENDER PENDING

Ordinarily, I would be all over this. Calling to complain, channeling my inner-grandmother, etc. but this is tricky. I feel like they should give us the crib at the discounted price, since it was a legitimate sale and the price was really listed at $65. But I don’t want to draw attention to the situation, yet, in case the crib was shipped back on account of a missing part or broken box or something. This saga is likely to continue.

What makes me laugh the most is that Jason always stops me from taking advantage of situations like this. We once got a water bill for $1.67 and I wanted to pay it, knowing full well that we usually have to sell internal organs to pay the water and sewer people. He made me call them, tell them there had been a mistake and send someone out to fix the broken water meter. He has a conscience. I guess I don’t. But for once, he is way into this scam.

Big Head, The Shrimp and a Place to Sleep

The week 13 size comparison is a medium shrimp. As a non-shrimp eater, I was shocked to find that shrimp get to be that big (3 inches long, weighing an ounce). But the internet is always right, so I guess that’s where we’re at.

However, this I what I found most disturbing in my weekly email:

“…and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now.”

First off, don’t freak out, I know it says her, but we still don’t know. The company that sends the size emails attempts gender neutrality by alternating between her and him each week.

Second…A HEAD THAT IS JUST A THIRD OF HER BODY. JUST?? Dear god. What was it before? A giant floating head? That does not sound cute. Not one bit.

In other news, Spanky got some new digs today. As a result of a freak typo at Amazon, our crib was on super sale. Like 95% off the retail price. And free shipping. So I got it. It will live in the basement for the foreseeable future. But if I teach our new child anything, it’s that some sales are just too good to pass up.