Baby got back

Baby got back is similar to Baby got Barack, but this one actually has to do with the baby’s ass.

I totally forgot to mention this last week, but at week 27, Spanky Lulu weighed 2 pounds and was about 14.5 inches long.  (I continue to assert that it’s a big lie and this child continues to exceed all fruit and vegetable calculations).  Apparently 2 pounds is the weight of a head of cauliflower.  Cauliflower smells real bad.  Let’s not talk about it anymore.

In our last visit with the midwife, we confirmed our suspicions about Spanky’s position.  We have known for weeks that Spanky likes to hang out on the right side.  And if you look at my stomach, one side totally sticks out more than the other.  If you look even closer, you can see this round lump protruding from the right side.  Jason and I made the untrained determination that Spanky Lulu was sticking her butt out and the lump we were seeing was actually the outline of her butt.  We asked Audra and sure enough, Spanky’s head is down where it’s supposed to be, her butt is sticking out of the side of my stomach and her legs are under my rib cage.  While she is in a good position for delivery, I am not sure that I can spend the next 3 months with her poking my bladder with her fist and kicking me in the ribs.  If I didn’t object so strongly to having pictures taken of my stomach, I would provide photographic evidence of this.  But you will just have to use your imagination.

Things are moving along smoothly.  The rash is under control.  I have a glucose screening this week and some bloodwork.  And we switch to 2 midwife visits per month.  I think that means the end is in sight.  I have been having a lot of hip and back pain, so I am off to the acupuncturist next week in hopes that she can make it all better.  I think that the issue has to do with our mattress.  But that’s a whole other post.  And for those of you keeping track, I bought a winter coat.

Rutabagas

A quick recap — last week, at 24 weeks, Spanky Lulu was the size of an ear of corn.

This week, week 25, Spanky Lulu is 13 or so inches long and weighs 1.5 pounds, which is the weight of a rutabaga.  What is a rutabaga, you ask?  The swede, (yellow) turnip, swedish turnip or rutabaga is a root vegetable that originated as a cross between the cabbage and the turnip. Its leaves can also be eaten as a leaf vegetable.  Excellent.

These Baby Center people are WHACK.  This alien baby weighs far more than a pound and a half.  In my expert medical opinion, this baby already weighs 25 pounds.  She is heavy.  And it’s hard to carry her around all the time.  I fear I may have developed the pregnant lady waddle.

We are now in month 6, which is fantastic, because it’s just one month closer to the end.  I feel fine, things are uneventful, but I am feeling just the slightest bit done with this whole pregnancy thing.  And that’s unfortunate, since February is so far away!

In other news, it has gotten cold.  And I need to get a coat or something.  My grandmother, very kindly, offered me her old mink coat.  As I told her, I think I would rather freeze my ass off for the next 4 months than wear the mink.  In the meantime, however, I will continue to wear unbuttoned layers and hope that I can avoid pneumonia.