You know you’re big when…

Two things happened last week that have done wonders for my pregnant self-esteem.

1.  I was standing in my driveway, talking to one of my housemates, at 8:30 one morning.  It was cold, so I was bundled up.  A woman pulls her car over, gets out, and walks towards us.  She gestures to our recycling and says, “Are those boxes cut up or broken down?”  We said, both, help yourself, do whatever you want, we’re getting rid of them, etc…And then she turns to me and says, “MY, WHAT A BIG BELLY YOU HAVE.  IS THIS YOUR FIRST?”

FOR REALS.  I was standing in my own driveway.  Minding my own business.  When a woman wearing some sort of faux yak skin/furry/fringey moon boots gets out of her car to pick through our trash and insults me.  First thing in the morning.  All I could do was nod.  WHO DOES THAT?  I had to confirm later on that this event actually happened and I didn’t dream it up in some sort of pregnant delusion.  But it was totally real.  And her boots were totally furry.

2.  Jason and I went out to dinner last week to one of our favorite places, Wild Willy’s (check it out), where we enjoyed some pre-Jason’s birthday burgers.  As you all know, I do the driving in our family.  Not because Jason can’t, but because I am a tragically bad passenger.  Anyway, upon leaving the restaurant, we noticed that some yahoo parked real close to us.  Like so close that I was unable to maneuver my fat gut into the driver’s side door of the car.  I weighed my options — try to squish the baby and myself through the small crack, haul myself into the passenger side, over the center console and into the driver’s seat, or swallow my pride and let Jason drive home.  Jason drove home.

I am ready to be done now.